Thoughts on Three: How We Decided to Have Another Child

Tuesday, April 30, 2019

Today's post is especially close to my heart, not only because it's about the most important thing in my life -- my children -- but also because I know it delves into questions that a lot of parents ask themselves (myself included): how many kids do I want? How will we know when we're done having babies?

When we talked about having kids, Steve and I always said we thought "2-3" sounded good. A lot of parents have a definitive number of children they hope for, and others say "we'll see what feels right." We were sort of in the latter camp. We knew we wanted more than one child, but we weren't sure how our family would feel after two were in the picture. 

About 18 months after our first child, Carrington, was born, we started to feel like we were ready to give her a sibling. Many of you know that we suffered a miscarriage before conceiving our sweet second daughter, Hadley, which made her arrival all the more precious. We truly savored both of our girls and their growing relationship -- but it wasn't as if after Hadley was born I thought "Yep, that's it!" (Well, maybe for the first few months I did as she went through colic and I went through sleep deprivation, haha). As Hadley approached the 18 month mark, I expected to feel completely ready to start trying for another child just as I had timing-wise with her older sister. Yet, it just didn't feel like it was time as it had before. Does that make sense? 

I started to wonder if that meant that we were done; that we were complete with two children. When people would inevitably ask whether we wanted any more kids, I would be honest and say we weren't sure. I think, because I was thoroughly wrapped up in my two tiny daughters and just so grateful for them both, I didn't feel like anybody was necessarily missing. And, yet, I knew I wasn't ready to say we were done either. There was still a sense of possibility -- of a bigger family and another sibling for the girls -- hanging in the air at all times.

Looking back now, I realize what I was so carefully weighing was a third pregnancy and birth, and not a third child. I had two c-sections and the last one had a couple of complications -- nothing that would prevent me from having more children, but the third delivery would definitely have to be another c-section and I needed to weigh risks. 

It wasn't until Hadley turned two that I started to feel kind of obsessed, for lack of a better word, about what to do. What began as a laid-back attitude about it all ended up to be all I thought about... until one day I felt so overwhelmed weighing it all that I decided to steal some quiet time away in our bedroom and put it out there to God, to the universe: What should we do? I think I want a third child, if I'm being honest with myself, if I'm truly listening to my heart and picturing our best future... but I'm scared.

This sounds crazy, but from that moment forward, I felt at peace. 

I'm not sure if it was just saying it out loud, having that quiet time to truly reflect, or an answered prayer, but I felt clarity in that moment and afterward. I talked to Steve and after agreeing that we were both on the same page, we decided to try for our third baby at the beginning of the New Year.

As you all know, the rest is history. We are 18 weeks along now, and I think about this sweet little girl (!) growing inside of me every day, imagine our lives with her, see how much her sisters already adore her, and I can't picture anything else.

If you are in a similar boat right now, wondering how many kids you want or if you should have another, just know that it is normal to question -- it's the most life altering decision you can make! What ended up helping me was 1. Taking the time I needed, even if it didn't "match" my expectations or the time I took before, 2. Asking other women about their experiences, 3. Talking it out with your partner and the people closest to you, and 4. Taking some quiet, uninterrupted time to put it all out there there to the universe, to say a prayer, to ask for guidance if you need it. And, most importantly, to listen when the answer comes.


I feel that it's so important to acknowledge, especially on the tail of Infertility Awareness Week, that I know that there are so many women (and their partners) out there who don't go through this, or won't go through this, process of asking themselves how many children they should have because they're hoping so much for one. There are women I love very much in that group. I recognize how completely fortunate we are to have this decision to make. Steve and I have experienced our own baby-related loss, and the subsequent fear and wondering: will this happen for us again? That was painful. And yet, I have dear friends that have been trying for years to have a baby. If that is you, too, I just want you to know I see you and, even if our journeys to parenthood haven't looked the same, I am always here to listen. I could cry thinking about one of my closest girlfriends, who, after quietly and cautiously telling her about this pregnancy before we announced it said, "For some reason, when it's someone I love, it really doesn't bother me. So in other words, I am over the moon for you!" Wow. No words. She has checked in repeatedly since then, sharing our joy, and just as she does that I hope she (and others going through this) know I am here to also share in their struggling. That is what true friendship is all about: sharing the joy and the sorrow.

If you'd like to share your thoughts or a part of your journey below, I'd love to hear. 

Friday Favorites | Swim Edition: Best One Pieces & Cover Ups

Friday, April 26, 2019

I can't believe swimming weather is right around the corner! We're thinking of joining a pool this summer, and in addition to that we always take several trips to the beach (including our week-long one!), so even though I'll be massively pregnant I needed to get at least one bathing suit I can chase after the kids in. I ended up going with this one, and got it when it was on sale like it is today, so it was a steal! 

If I weren't pregnant this summer, though, there are SO many cute one pieces I'd be eyeing up. I'm so glad the one piece has made such a strong comeback; gone are the days when one pieces were boring and overly matronly. Here are my favorites so far this season:

The crochet detail on this suit is so cute, and I love the color. Plus, the back is just as fun as the front! 

I love the simple scallops on this suit, and this pinky-purple color is so, so pretty. The price on this one is so good.

Loving the beachy colors on this suit, and the back is super cute.

For a simpler style, I love these sporty stripes and think the pattern would be really flattering. Still available in several sizes at $38!

I haven't really seen another swimsuit quite like this one -- it's fun and classic at the same time. The black and white makes it timeless!

I think this suit is the prettiest I've seen. I love everything -- the detail, the color!

BONUS -- Cover Ups!

This J.Crew beauty is on sale for $14! Also comes in white and navy (a few dollars more).

This one is only available in a medium right now, but for $16 -- I loved it so much I had to include it in case a M is your size!

For a longer option, I don't think you can beat this beauty. The colors, pattern, and tassels are perfection. 

Do you have some fun in the water planned for this summer?

Behind the Career: Becoming a Publicist

Wednesday, April 24, 2019

I love hearing about the ins and outs of various careers. It's always interesting to learn about how people spend their days, what the behind the scenes of their job is like, how they got into their position in the first place. I often think about all of the different jobs there are and how each one makes the world function in some small (or big) way. 

In light of graduation season, I thought I'd share a little bit about my job, in case you're a new graduate or just a curious person like me! 

What I Majored In & My Degree

This spring marks ten (!) years since I graduated from college. I graduated with a Bachelor of Arts in Communication Studies. A lot of people aren't sure what that major really encompasses, and one of my favorite things about the major I chose is that it actually encompasses quite a bit. Little known fact: I began college at a different university than the one I graduated from (any other transfer students out there?) and I was a Journalism major my freshman year. Magazine journalism, to be exact! That was always my dream, but the media landscape has changed so much that I'm actually grateful for the way my path ended up shifting. My Communication Studies major gave me the chance to learn about journalism, public relations in various capacities, marketing in various capacities, and other courses studying how humans communicate including non-verbal (my favorite class!), political, and health.

My Internship

Straight out of college I held a year-long, full-time paid internship at Auntie Anne's Pretzels (yep, those yummy, doughy treats you can't resist at the mall) as a Public Relations Assistant. It taught me SO much, and I'd highly recommend a similar internship to new graduates. I wasn't fetching coffee, I was truly a part of the public relations team and I'm not sure I could have grown in my career as I have if I didn't start there. Plus, I met one of my dearest friends!

My First [Real] Job

After that ended (and I was newly married and living in a new state), I was hired as an Account Coordinator at a marketing agency that specialized in catalog creation. I did a lot of proofreading and editing for a few of our catalog accounts (including proofreading pages that were in Mandarin, French, Spanish!), photoshoot coordination (got to watch shoots like Lilly Pulitzer in action), and lots of taking people's lunch orders and picking up said lunches. ;) 

Landing a Publicist Position

After almost two years there, a friend let me know about a job posting for a Book Publicist at a NJ-based company. I was commuting 1.5 hours each way at the time while Steve attended law school full time (and worked part-time), and life was just a little crazier than I would have liked (or as crazy as it gets, pre-kids haha) -- plus, honestly, I was looking for a change. I was super intrigued by the Book Publicist position since I've always loved reading and writing so I figured I'd apply.

Little known fact, and some encouragement for new grads: I did not get the job after my first interview! Someone else was hired for the position but they ended up not being the right fit so they called me back (thankfully) and the rest is history. 

What A Book Publicist Does

I think there's a lot of misconception about what a publicist actually does, and understandably. Most people I talk to -- especially after learning I'm in book publicity -- assume I'm in publishing. I'm not (although we work with publishers all the time!). The job of a publicist is to get publicity for their client, and in the case of our specific business, clients are mostly authors and industry experts. That means we want to get them noticed! And we use media to do that, whether it be traditional media (think newspaper articles, features in magazines, interviews on television and radio, contributed articles online, book reviews on blogs) or -- and this is a rapidly growing and changing space -- via social media and influencers.

Challenges of the Job

Every job has its challenges. We fully recognize we are not performing brain surgery, but the challenges that come with being a publicist are still real (though a million times less dire). In my opinion the toughest part of the job is the fact that we can do everything right and still not have the media respond the way we'd like, or have a media opportunity fall through. Years ago, I had a client who was booked to fly from Canada to NYC for an appearance on The Today Show and they had to cancel the day before the scheduled appearance. That's always hard to navigate (and not fun news to deliver!), but it is just part of the job.

My Favorite Parts of the Job & Career Highlights

I love writing (shocking seeing as I have a blog, right? ;)) -- both persuasive writing and storytelling -- so this job is a great fit for me. We are constantly writing press releases, pitches, articles, and always communicating with our clients and the media. It is so exciting and satisfying to see the media positively respond to the way you have presented an author or expert, and watch that client gain exposure for their book or project because of that. Our clients' books are their babies -- so we are entrusted with that care, and we take that very seriously. But we also have a lot of fun! 

I have worked with well over 100 authors and have had a lot of different "favorite" projects. There is one, though, that made a true lasting impact on me, and that was working with the family of Charlotte Bacon, one of the tiniest victims of the Sandy Hook massacre. They wrote the most beautiful book (this one) with the hope of keeping the true spirit of Charlotte, and her love for animals, alive. We had some great placements for this book, but what mattered more than that was knowing that we were letting the world know about Charlotte, through the eyes of the people who loved her most in the world. I still read this book to my own kids often.

Other highlights have included attending Book Expo in NYC (such a great event), and I can't help but think of my colleague and I riding around NYC in an Uber with the executive producer (now an older gentleman) of Saved by the Bell shuttling him to media appearances -- I laugh thinking about sharing my cinnamon gum with him, which he loved so much he requested two more pieces. My co-workers have also had some pretty fun experiences: like, one time, my co-worker was sitting behind me in the office and we realized she was just casually chatting on the phone with Alec Baldwin. No big deal!

I think that about wraps it up! I'd love to hear what you do -- and in fact, I'd love to do a little behind-the-scenes post if you're willing to share more about your career and how you wound up there. It's fascinating (and helpful for others, especially new grads) to learn about different types of fields and positions. Leave a comment below to let me know what you do, and your favorite (or least favorite) part!

Spring Style: Dresses for Every Occasion

Wednesday, April 17, 2019

There is something so refreshing about getting dressed in spring, amiright? By February I am over every single thing I own and don't want to look at another sweater or pair of heavy jeans -- even my Uggs have worn out their seasonal welcome.

Spring also brings lots of fun occasions like weddings, bridal showers, baby showers, Easter, Mother's Day, and graduations to get dressed up for! This season we have a few showers, a wedding, and my daughter's pre-school graduation on the agenda, so I'll be keeping my eye out for bump friendly dresses. ;) I've already picked up this one (when it was on sale for $35) and this one (when it was on sale for $32 -- don't forget to size up one size!), and I think both will get a lot of use pre and post baby.

Here are some more of my picks for spring events:

For A Daytime Wedding

Pleated midi dress (those colors!)

For a Nighttime Wedding

Twist bow sheath dress ($38 -- in case you need an LBD!)

For A Dressy Bridal Shower

Spaghetti strap lace dress (great reviews!)

For Graduation

For Your Work Event

Tie waist jumpsuit (so comfy and chic!)

For Easter

Classic shirt dress (you'll never guess where it's from!)

For Mother's Day Brunch

Striped shift dress (looks like Vineyard Vines -- $15!!!)

For... Well, I Just Love It!

Halter maxi dress (here's your splurge!)

Do you have any events coming up this spring or summer?

Weekend Recap + This Week's Menu

Monday, April 15, 2019

Happy Monday! I hope you had a nice weekend. It was a good one here. 

On Saturday we drove to our hometown to visit with my brother's family and celebrate my sister-in-law's birthday. They're expecting a baby too this summer (A new nephew! Yay!) so we talked nurseries and names, and other fun stuff like that, and the kids had a blast playing together. Pizza and cake topped off a fun night!

On Sunday we picked up Hadley's new mattress and Steve put together her new bed (here's a little preview -- still need to add the bed skirt, hang things on the walls, and I can't really put the comforter on with the toddler sides but you get the idea!). You've never seen a two year old more excited! It's kind of crazy to see a big bed in her room instead of the crib. She was just born last month. I don't understand time, but it is really fun seeing how proud she is. Later in the day I did a grocery pick up (well, Steve technically did the pick up part) and to wind down last night I caught up on some magazines (does anyone except for me still read magazines? I hope so! I've always loved flipping through them) and watched "The Perfect Date" on Netflix. It was no "To All the Boys I've Loved Before" but it was still entertaining. ;) Just living the 31 year old dream. 

Here's what's on the menu for this week:

Sunday - Rotisserie chicken, mashed potatoes and peas

Monday - Chicken caesar salads (using leftover rotisserie chicken)

Tuesday - Crockpot Italian beef hoagies, roasted brussel sprouts

Wednesday - Burgers on the grill, fries, corn on the cob

Thursday - Leftovers

Friday - Pizza 

Saturday - Out

Make it a good one, my friends!

Friday Favorites + Lucky Finds

Friday, April 12, 2019

Happiest Friiiday! I'm so excited that it's the weekend. For some reason, this week has just really taken it out of me and I'm ready for a couple of days off. Anyone else??

Any fun plans in store? We are celebrating my sister-in-law's birthday tomorrow, so that will be nice! Sunday looks rainy and will hopefully be a low-key catch-up kind of day. Hadley's bed frame arrived (check out plans for her big girl room mini makeover here) so we need to build that and buy a twin mattress. Maybe that will be on Sunday's agenda!

Sharing a few Friday Favorites and Lucky Finds from this week. What are some of your highlights or favorite things from the past few days?

+ This breaking news is just so mind-blowing, isn't it?

+ I shared some fun Easter basket ideas yesterday, if you're stumped!

+ Confession: My girls barely ever wore headbands as babies. Is that breaking some sort of #girlmom rule? I have a few friends who use and love Little Poppy Co., which is a headband/bow monthly subscription and they have the cutest little accessories! I'm thinking of trying it for this littlest love. Have any of you used it?

+ Someone who isn't pregnant, please buy this bathing suit for me. Also, this one. Sigh... so cute.

+ I think I need three of these sweatshirts for the fall.

+ Have you guys seen the new Spritz party decor at Target? I mean... H might need a swan-themed party this summer!

+ A few truths to get your weekend started:

Easter Basket Ideas

Thursday, April 11, 2019

Can you believe Easter is in only a couple of weeks?

To me, one of the most fun parts of being a parent is infusing a little magic into the kids' lives. We don't go too overboard, but whether it be a little confetti trail from the tooth fairy, playing Santa Claus, or filling up Easter baskets and choosing the perfect hiding spot for them (does anyone else do this?!) -- I just have way too much fun.

This year my girls are getting pretty simple baskets inspired by something they actually needed, but I also think they'll be happy to see: new bath towels! C & H have been using the same baby-sized Pottery Barn critter towels for, ohhh, six years now and it was time to upgrade them. I chose this fun superhero towel, and this cute princess towel, and added in some bath poofs. Bath time is one of their favorite things, so I think it'll go over well! 

I also picked up a strawberry growing kit for them from Target, because C has been obsessed with the idea of growing things this spring (which I love!). We're excited to try it out with them. Other than that, their baskets will be filled with a few edible goodies like a classic chocolate bunny, peeps and jellybeans. 

If you're still looking for ideas for your kiddos, I've rounded up some other cute goodies I've spotted (or ones we already have and love!):

Picnic basket purse | How cuuute is this little kids' purse?! I can picture my girls filling it up with the rocks, leaves, and other outdoor "treasures" they collect.

Sunglasses | Can't go wrong with a cute, classic pair of sunglasses for kids. A want and a need!

Melissa & Doug sticker scenes | My kids adore these sticker books -- they seriously keep them busy for a ridiculous amount of time. Great bang for your buck.

Little Critter Easter book | These classic books remind me of my childhood! We have this one and read it all the time.

Kids' gardening tools | Target does it again! Kids will have so much fun "helping" in the garden this spring with this cute little set.

Kite | This is something we don't have, but would be so much fun to try. Perfect to bring to the park or the beach.

Push garden | I thought this idea was so fun and different. My girls are obsessed with the idea of planting things and starting a garden this season, and this little confetti popper spreads a bunch of seeds in one push.

What will be filling your kiddos' baskets this year?


Tuesday, April 9, 2019

Good morning! I had the usual weekend recap and menu post planned for yesterday but had trouble logging into Blogger all day. Fun! ;) I figure we can skip that, though, and get to the most IMPORTANT part of our weekend which was finding out that our sweet baby on the way is a little...


HOORAY! The girls are beyond excited, and so are we. We know girls well, we already have pink all over our house, we have absolutely loved watching the bond between sisters grow over the past couple of years... and we can't wait to add one more little love to the mix! 

I am 15 weeks today, and while it would usually be at least a couple more weeks until we'd find out the gender of our babe (and we do find out each time, we're those people, although I definitely admire those who can wait for a surprise!) -- for each of our kids we have chosen to go to a place that does private 2D/3D ultrasounds for the big reveal. It is a wonderfully calm, intimate, special experience and, honestly, I can't recommend it enough to expecting parents. We now have a 20 minute video of babe #3 wiggling and moving around (plus pictures) that we can keep forever. I mean, look at that little profile!

Our appointment was actually initially scheduled for today, but we saw an opening on Saturday morning and decided last minute to go for it. We've been sort of "fly by the seat of our pants" with this kid, haha, just going with whatever feels right. And on Saturday morning, it felt right to find out who was dancing around in there! What was so fun and special was that the girls were able to come with us and find out at the exact moment we did that they were going to get a little sister. On the drive over, we had asked them to predict if it was a girl or a boy and they both said "GIRL!" And they were right!

Saturday afternoon Hadley and I went to Target to buy balloons for the announcement, and she helped me pick out baby's first little outfit (a family tradition after finding out the gender). Sunday was the most gorgeous day -- blue skies and warm temps -- and we took pictures to send to our family and friends and to make the news official. 

Thanks for following along on this journey! Hope you had a wonderful weekend!

Friday Favorites + Lucky Finds

Friday, April 5, 2019

Happy Friday! 

I set my alarm extra early this morning and got up in the dark to get some work done, and it's like my kids sense that I'm up no matter what time it is or how quiet I am, haha. They snuck down so I didn't get as much done as I had hoped. But oh well! Lucky they're cute. :)

What do you have planned for the weekend? It looks like a pretty warm one here, so we're excited to spend time outside, maybe go for a little hike, do some outdoor projects, etc. It's the last low-key weekend for a while and we're going to enjoy it!

Here are some Friday favorites, plus a few Lucky Finds I've eyed up this week:

+ Breakfast can be a tough meal for us. I feel like we're always eating the same one or two things -- especially the kids. Anyone else? The girls have been loving the Eggo Nutrigrain Blueberry waffles lately. I serve them with fruit, and sometimes yogurt as "dip." ;)

+ C started swim lessons back up this week and she did so well! It's amazing what just a few months can do for a kid's confidence and skill. She was also excited to rock one of her new bathing suits (rainbows!), and her new goggles.

+ She also had a GREAT day at soccer this week! She's been pretty lukewarm (and that's generous) about soccer, but this past week she did really well and had a lot of fun and it made me so happy to see. It's fun to watch your kids try different things and see what they enjoy, or grow to enjoy.

+ I ordered a maternity swim suit this week when Destination Maternity had 25% off swim + free shipping (does anyone else refuse to pay shipping?). I figure, having this baby in September, I'll be pretty massively pregnant throughout the summer and with two little kids will need at least one cute suit (probably two). They are surprisingly hard to find! This is the one I went with.

+ I'm loving the rattan jewelry trend for spring/summer. How light, airy, and versatile do these earrings look (and you'll NEVER guess the price).

+ Did you see our progress on Hadley's big girl room in this post from Wednesday? I'm excited about how it's coming together and most importantly, so is she! 

Bottoms up! Have a fantastic weekend, friends!

Hadley's Big Girl Room Progress

Wednesday, April 3, 2019

I honestly can't believe we're already planning a "big girl" room for Hadley. Wasn't she just born? Didn't Steve just paint her walls the softest lavender (which will be staying!) and position the crib just so? And now our 2.5 year old tells us every morning that she dreamt about her big girl bed -- she would like pink sheets and princesses.

I suppose it's good timing that she feels ready and excited since we'll need to move the crib to the new nursery eventually. When we moved Carrington's nursery furniture into Hadley's room and it was time for C's "big girl room," she inherited my childhood bedroom set and it worked out perfectly. H will now keep all of the furniture in her room except for the glider and the crib -- a twin bed is on its way! -- and we'll add some new touches to update it and appease some of her requests. ;)

My biggest challenge was how to incorporate what she wanted (because who can say no to to her sweet little vision?) while keeping the soft lavender wall color. Would pink and purple be too garish? How could I incorporate a touch of princess into a room that had previously had a coastal/mermaid feel? Well, it started out feeling like a bit of a mish-mosh but here are some of the new things we have so far and I'm feeling happy with it!

The Bed

We ended up going with the Catalina twin bed without the footboard from PB Kids (in white, to match the rest of the furniture already in the room). The crib that both kids (soon to be a third!) have used is from Pottery Barn and I know the quality is excellent. We got it for a great deal during one of their 25% off sales! The bed is backordered and is due to arrive sometime mid-April.

The Bedding

For the price, this 4-piece bedding set is fantastic quality. It's the lightest sea-foam green color with a super subtle scallop design, the comforter is so soft, and it comes with a sham, decorative pillow and silky-soft white throw blanket. I scored this for $30, so always keep your eye out for a sale! I figured this doesn't marry us to a theme and would transition nicely no matter what H decides she wants to do with her room as she grows. Plus, the price point won't sting if something happens to it (marker, bodily fluids... you get the idea). 

To satisfy the pink requirement, we picked up this comfy sheet set (also from Target). Stay with me here because I know it seems like we have just about every color imaginable in this room! Haha!

To pull it all together and check off the princess box, we chose this fun princess pillow case from PB Kids. It actually ends up tying the soft sea-foam green, lavender, and pink all together perfectly. H is already so excited to sleep on it! I think pillow cases are such a good way to add in a "theme" because they're super affordable and can easily be switched out. 

I couldn't resist this gold crown pillow as a sparkly accent for the bed.

And finally, bed-wise, this tulle bedskirt with subtle gold dots. I actually picked up the pink version to update C's room and am so impressed with both for $20 each - wow!

The Decor
We'll be able to use a couple of decor pieces already in the room just because they're very neutral, but I did order this pennant to tie in all of the colors we're working with -- plus, I just thought it was so cute. 

Other than that, I'm also eyeing up this canopy for either over the bed or a little reading nook. If this doesn't say princess, I don't know what does!

So that's where we are! I'll have to take some before and after pictures of the room once it's had its mini-makeover. What do you think -- can you envision it? I'm so excited for her and think it will make her feel like the proud, big girl she's too quickly turning into. :)
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